If POTUS can really bomb peace, stability and women’s rights into the Middle East, I’ll take my hat off to him. Judging by his role in Gaza, I won’t hold my breath

Donald Trump says Keir Starmer has damaged the special relationship by not helping him more in the US-Israel war on Iran. But you have to remember that when you do help, Trump pretends you didn’t anyway, and also pisses on your war dead. Still, what could be more enticing than the Americans trying to sell you a timeshare on a war in the Middle East?

And so to Iran. “War is the realm of uncertainty,” said Carl von Clausewitz, who – and not to be a bitch – I still think of as a more impressive military theorist than Pete Hegseth. Certainly, Carl had fewer Crusades tattoos than the US defence secretary. Hegseth is 100% certain about all his nailed-down positions, even the ones in apparent conflict with each other. And it feels like a great sign that he, Marco Rubio and JD Vance already seem to have different rationales for why this war was launched. This is an administration that came to power on an explicit “no more wars” ticket – but look, as Pete keeps saying, this isn’t a regime-change war. If that seems confusing, given he first said it about 10 minutes after US-Israeli strikes had just cratered the ayatollah’s compound, Hegseth has since been on hand to scoff that what’s going down in Iran is “no nation-building quagmire, no democracy-building exercise”.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

Contradicting images of parties and war-flooded feeds after Iran targeted Gulf states in retaliation for US-Israeli attacks

Mike Babayan was in a hookah lounge when he heard the explosion on Saturday night. Dubai – a gilded playground for the ultra-rich and oligarch class, billed as one of the safest places on Earth – had been attacked by Iranian missiles. Phones lit up with emergency messages urging residents to take shelter. But Dubai is resilient, at least when it comes to partying. “Everyone just went back to their hookah and food a minute later,” said Babayan.

Still, as a precaution, that night Babayan moved from his main home in the Burj Khalifa, the world’s tallest building and the anchor of the Dubai skyline, to a residence further from the city center. There, he could hear the explosions much clearer – one every 20 to 30 minutes, he said. “But everyone is just having coffees, walking around like there’s no care in the world. It’s pretty insane.”

Organizing your home doesn’t have to use up all your retirement savings, time or peace of mind

Overcurated home organization content has flourished on social media for the past decade: well-lit photos of pantries, closets and bathrooms with contents arranged in clear acrylic bins. Usually, everything is color coordinated.

I love a tidy, organized space, but these images stress me out. My mouth gets dry when I imagine the upkeep necessary to keep those spaces looking pristine. How much does it cost to acquire hundreds of identical storage bins? How long did it take to aesthetically arrange Khloé Kardashian’s cookies like that? Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing with my one wild and precious life?

With no spending or fiscal commitments to offer, the chancellor kept it short, sweet and just a little tin-eared

When your luck is out, your luck is out. Time to accept what the fates have to throw at you. It was always going to be a bit of a stretch for Rachel Reeves to maintain she had a brilliant plan and the economy had never been in better health when the figures show a fall in growth and a rise in unemployment. Unless you happen to think those things aren’t so bad after all.

To do so three days after the beginning of Donald Trump’s Awfully Big Iranian Adventure when oil and gas prices are rising, the bond markets are in turmoil and stock markets around the world are falling, begins to look a bit previous. Almost tin-eared.

Getting your garden ready for spring? We asked the experts for their go-to kit, from secateurs and soil knives to trousers with enough pockets for twine

• How to make your garden tools last longer

In my garden, the celandines are popping, the blackthorn buds are breaking, and the bees are beginning to bumble. These, to my mind, are all solid seasonal omens, and I for one can feel my sap beginning to rise: time to venture outside.

Though undoubtedly there are cold, damp and dreary days still to come, the spring starting pistol has been fired and months of good gardening now lie ahead. There are seeds to sow, shrubs to prune and perennials to chop back and divide. In all tasks, however, being well equipped makes every bit of difference to the experience, so here are some dependable, tried and tested – and in many cases beloved – tools recommended by professionals, from head gardeners and growers to producers of vegetables and cut flowers.

Some may balk at Netherlanders’ ‘nothing to hide’ approach, but there is evidence their curtain customs could come with health benefits

Name: The Dutch method.

Age: Possibly in place since the Reformation, making it about 500 years old.

US president orders Washington to provide insurance for commercial shipping in the crucial strait; Israeli military says it has launched a ‘broad wave’ of strikes

• Trump administration has still not settled on reasons for war

• Middle East attacks intensify as Trump rejects Iran’s attempt to talk

US secretary of state Marco Rubio has claimed the US attacked Iran after learning that Israel was going to strike, which would have meant retaliation against US forces.

“We knew that if we didn’t pre-emptively go after them before they launched those attacks, we would suffer higher casualties,” he told reporters

The Air Force is now attacking Tehran and Beirut simultaneously

The Air Force has now begun a wave of extensive strikes against the Iranian terror regime and the Hezbollah terror organization.

Religious freedom group says 200 troops sent complaints of superiors using extremist Christian rhetoric to justify war

US military commanders have been invoking extremist Christian rhetoric about biblical “end times” to justify involvement in the Iran war to troops, according to complaints made to a watchdog group.

The Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF) says it has received more than 200 complaints from service members across all branches of the armed forces, including the marines, air force and space force.

US president criticises prime minister for third time 24 hours, describing him as ‘not Churchill’ over initial refusal

• Middle East crisis – live updates

Donald Trump has launched a deeply personal attack on Keir Starmer over his refusal to let the US launch initial strikes on Iran from British bases, telling reporters: “This is not Winston Churchill that we’re dealing with.”

In his latest extraordinary salvo, the US president said he was not happy with the UK even though the prime minister eventually agreed the US could use Diego Garcia for strikes on Iranian missile facilities.

Keir Starmer says vessel, which will arrive in about a week, will help defend bases on island after RAF Akrotiri was targeted by drones

• UK politics live – latest updates

• Middle East crisis – live updates

A Royal Navy destroyer is expected in Cyprus next week after Keir Starmer announced it would be sent to defend the country and British bases there after hostile drones targeted RAF Akrotiri on Monday.

The prime minister said that HMS Dragon, currently in the Channel, would be deployed alongside two Wildcat helicopters with counter-drone capabilities, after a phone call to the country’s president, Nikos Christodoulides.