As Kim Kardashian’s All’s Fair sets a new low for TV, we revisit every single thing our critics have mercilessly panned. Brace yourself for the Mount Rushmore of rubbish!

Lucy Mangan’s Guardian review of Kim Kardashian’s new Disney+ legal drama All’s Fair was something of a rarity. Not necessarily because she didn’t care for it – the scorn has been universal – but because she gave it zero stars.

Not two, the score you give something you want to write off as too mediocre to break sweat over. Not one, which is what you give something if you want to make the people who made it wince. Zero stars. All’s Fair, according to this newspaper, is a product entirely devoid of discernible worth. In the entire 204-year-old history of this publication, only 15 zero-star reviews have ever been written, and All’s Fair is so unremittingly awful it got one of them. These are the other 14, presented here as the Guardian’s Mount Rushmore of crap.

Viewers have been won over by the quick-witted and quirky former England international. But do they all know about the groin-grabbing and that ‘horse’ of his?

It’s difficult to know where to begin with a not-so-quick guide to Celebrity Traitors’ breakout star, Joe Marler. The BBC series has introduced a wider public to the tattooed, 18-stone-plus former England rugby union player – fans won over by his quick-witted humour, allied to a direct, confrontational form of questioning and an uncanny knack for detective work.

Not all viewers, though, will be au fait with his backstory; the 35-year-old dungaree-wearing ex-prop forward admitted he was mistaken for a sound technician by his fellow celebrities when first on set, and then asked whether he played rugby league when he revealed his previous 15-year career. For those who know rugby union, however, Marler’s style on the show has come as little surprise, save it being slightly toned down for a wider public audience.

In seven days my young alter ego is cyberbullied and attacked while exploring clubs, casinos and horror games, all with parental controls in place. Is the platform safe for children – or an ‘X-rated paedophile hellscape’?

I am an eight-year-old girl, standing near-naked in a room full of strangers.

As the room spins and zooms upon me and people glide around me, I clock my features.

For too long, the centre has been adopting the language of the right but deploying it with greater civility – to disastrous ends

Zohran Mamdani was forged in the era of Donald Trump. He came to socialism through watching Bernie Sanders run for the US presidency in 2016, in the contest that ultimately gave us Trump I. Last November, a few days after the election of Trump II, he asked voters why they’d backed that guy. The conversations prepared Mamdani in his battle for New York, and the film of them reveals so much about the politics of this era that it repays watching.

Those of us schooled in the tactics of Bill Clinton and Tony Blair might roll our eyes at yet another “listening exercise”, starring a powerbroker and his retinue in some beautifully lit hall, but this is no such thing. Here stands an unknown on a street corner in the Bronx, waving a placard as doughtily as a Seventh-Day Adventist. Rather than read off a Rolodex of platitudes, this politician sees his public – some of whom look a little like him, yet whose faces and bodies are etched with the strains of the city. Never having spoken to power, even a lowly state assemblyman such as Mamdani, they talk of lives made smaller and shorter in an economy where the daily basics are too costly. Politics has failed them, so they consider politicians to be failures.

Aditya Chakrabortty is a Guardian columnist

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Plucked from obscurity, James Cartlidge messed up his maths while his opposite number had forgotten his politics 101

He had one job. ONE. JOB. Well, technically there might have been two, but we’ll come to that later. But one main job. And that’s to be able to count to six. That’s how many questions the leader of the opposition gets to ask at prime minister’s questions. It’s been that way since Tony Blair planted himself in Downing Street in 1997 and turned the spectacle from twice a week to one extended session. You wouldn’t have thought it was so hard to grasp. There again, some people find even the most basic maths challenging.

Alas, poor James! You might not have heard of James Cartlidge. No shame there. Join 99.9% of the population. And if you had heard of him, you may not have known that he is the shadow defence secretary. No shame there either. Join 99.9% of Tory MPs. Put simply, James is instantly forgettable. Even to his own acquaintances. He has risen without trace. The best exponent of the Dunning-Kruger effect since Danny Kruger.

He films people breaking his self-created ‘laws’ of street decorum and posts the videos online – with many viewers expressing their gratitude. So watch out if you’re rushing along on your phone or wheeling a small bag that could be carried ...

It’s a damp, grey morning in Soho, London, and Cameron Roh is standing a metre or so behind a woman who is speaking loudly into her phone outside Caffè Nero. She is breaking his “laws” of “pavement etiquette” and he holds up his phone and presses record. Lost in conversation, the woman doesn’t see him, but still, watching him from a distance, it’s fist-in-mouth awkward. What if she turns around? Is this allowed? Is this even OK?

Suddenly, the woman hangs up and dashes across the road, oblivious to what has just happened. Evidence duly captured, Roh returns to where I am hiding and delivers his verdict, which is marks out of 10 – with 10 being perfect pavement etiquette. “That’s a two,” he says. Her crimes? “On her phone, sudden stop, pretty much in the centre of the pavement, meaning people have to walk around her to get past. No, no, no.” She didn’t see us, but that somehow feels worse; I feel as if we’ve just pickpocketed her. Roh giggles, unfazed. As a self-appointed pavement vigilante, this is what he does.

Algerian sex offender and a fraudster released by Wandsworth jail, days after new checks brought in

David Lammy, the UK justice secretary, is under mounting pressure after two more prisoners, including a convicted foreign sex offender, were mistakenly freed, days after he introduced stringent checks for jails.

Lammy had refused multiple times to say whether any more prisoners had been released in error in a bruising session of prime minister’s questions (PMQs), having been ambushed with a string of pre-planned questions on the issue.

Report calls for scaling-up of renewable energy and electrification of key sectors to limit peak of global heating

There is still a chance for the world to avoid the worst ravages of climate breakdown and return to the goal of 1.5C if governments take concerted action on greenhouse gas emissions, a new assessment argues.

The Climate Analytics report says governments’ goals are inadequate and need to be rapidly revised, and calls for the rapid scaling-up of the use of renewable energy and electrification of key sectors including transport, heating and industry.

Statement by administrators puts PPE Medpro’s total debts at £188m, including £39m said to be owed to HMRC

The firm linked to the former Conservative peer Michelle Mone that was found last month to have supplied unusable personal protective equipment during the pandemic owes £39m in unpaid taxes, according to company documents.

PPE Medpro, owned by Mone’s husband, the Isle of Man-based businessman Doug Barrowman, was put into administration on 30 September, the day before the high court judgment was made public.

King Charles has agreed to his brother retaining South Atlantic medal for navy service during 1982 conflict

He has lost his princehood, dukedom, Order of the Garter knighthood and military titles, but the former Duke of York, now Andrew Mountbatten Windsor, can at least keep his campaign medal awarded for active service during the 1982 Falklands conflict.

The defence secretary, John Healey, had already confirmed Mountbatten Windsor would be stripped of his last remaining title, the honorary rank of vice-admiral, which he was given on his 55th birthday in 2015 and retained even after he lost other military positions in 2022.